Community Grief Rituals

a place to honor and give expression to personal and collective grief - tears, rage, mourning, sadness, numbness, pain - it is all welcome.

"Joy is secretly concealed inside grief." - Old Proverb


Grief is a given in this life and a natural part of the human experience, meant to be experienced with others, communally not in isolation. Throughout time, people have come together ritually and regularly to honor and metabolize grief, as a way to stay current and connected, as grief is intimately connected to our love and gratitude and can deepen us if we allow it. There are many gateways to grief - death, loss, change, divorce, betrayal, unrealized dreams, places in ourselves that have not known love, what we expected and did not receive, ancestral grief, trauma, the sorrows of the world and the reality that everything we love, we will lose.

In modern culture, many of us have forgotten how to grieve. More and more people are creating places to come together to honor and give expression to tears, rage, mourning, sadness, numbness, pain, as well as joy, wonder and gratitude in a field of community support. Join us as we tend our personal and collective grief through movement, singing, writing, sharing stories of loss, and community ritual, and find our way together into the gratitude and joy that often accompanies honoring our sorrow and being with what is in the healing presence of each other and the sacred. 

To metabolize grief into a gift of beauty to the other world is a skill and a practice to cultivate and tend. It softens our hearts and opens us to our humanity with more capacity to respond to the world around us with compassion and wisdom. The world needs us to respond to the crises and calls of the times with our full and open hearts. 


  • These rituals are inspired by the community grief work of Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some, and more recently Francis Weller, as well as related ork with Martin Prechtel (Grief and Praise), Joanna Macy (Despair and Empowerment; The Work that Reconnects) and Deena Metzger (Grief into Vision).

  • All day events are from 9:30am - 5:30pm.

  • Details of what to bring will be sent upon registration.

  • Cost varies depending on location. It is my desire to operate in the spirit of the gift economy as much as possible. Therefore, I am currently offering the rituals by donation, where each person offers what they can based on their ability to pay, and no one is turned away due to lack of funds. This is in trust that as a community we can support one another, all who want to participate are able to and my work and time are valued. Some people pay on the higher end, some on the lower end, some offer a trade, bring other gifts, make something, and we celebrate a holy reciprocity.

Upcoming dates: 

March 30, 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA/Open to all genders

September 14, 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA/Open to all genders 

“Coming home to grief is sacred work. a powerful practice that confirms what the indigenous soul knows and what spiritual traditions teach: we are connected to one another. Our fates are bound together in a mysterious but recognizable way. Grief registers the many ways this kinship is assaulted daily. Grief becomes a core element in any peace making practice, as it is a central means whereby our compassion is quickened, our mutual suffering is acknowledged.”
— Francis Weller
“Something needs to be broken in order for a new state of grace to be born. It is the natural cycle of our spirit. In this way we are born and die many times in life before we eventually return to the land of the ancestors. If we are going to achieve our purpose in life, we must be willing to fall out of grace and accept its lessons. When we feel righteous about ourselves, or deny our brokenness, we are fighting agains the higher states of grace that await us.”
— Sobonfu Some

To register for or inquire about any event, please email